Comments on: Second-Class Citizen http://fulltimecare.today.com/2009/02/21/second-class-citizen/ She's neurotic. She's alcoholic. She's mine. Fri, 25 Dec 2009 23:43:36 +0000 http://www.today.com/version-2.3.1 By: spikethelobster http://fulltimecare.today.com/2009/02/21/second-class-citizen/#comment-13 spikethelobster Sun, 22 Feb 2009 11:24:22 +0000 http://fulltimecare.today.com/2009/02/21/second-class-citizen/#comment-13 You'll excuse me for chuckling a little: my partner's a psychologist, you see, so although therapy would probably help, the mere fact of living with a qualified analyst always bring s a smile to my face. The kicker is not whether she supports me (she doesn't, but money is not an issue in that sense - never has been), but the fact that she's neurotic and alcoholic. When someone's having a panic attack or is very drunk, it's not quite so simple to say "later, dear". When she's sober and anxious (but not panicking), things are generally fine. And the alcoholism and neuroses are things that are very much out of my hands, as far as control or change are concerned. That's down to her and the people supporting her (outside the house, as in). You’ll excuse me for chuckling a little: my partner’s a psychologist, you see, so although therapy would probably help, the mere fact of living with a qualified analyst always bring s a smile to my face.

The kicker is not whether she supports me (she doesn’t, but money is not an issue in that sense - never has been), but the fact that she’s neurotic and alcoholic. When someone’s having a panic attack or is very drunk, it’s not quite so simple to say “later, dear”. When she’s sober and anxious (but not panicking), things are generally fine.

And the alcoholism and neuroses are things that are very much out of my hands, as far as control or change are concerned. That’s down to her and the people supporting her (outside the house, as in).

]]> By: maxiegirl http://fulltimecare.today.com/2009/02/21/second-class-citizen/#comment-12 maxiegirl Sat, 21 Feb 2009 19:56:20 +0000 http://fulltimecare.today.com/2009/02/21/second-class-citizen/#comment-12 You sound just like a housewife and mother - except that your partner is like your child. It's good for children to learn independence and respect. Your partner needs to learn it too. First of all, don't cater to her. Caring is one thing. Catering to is another. Try not to be available exactly when she wants you. Tell her "Just a minute," or "I'm busy right now, can you come here?" Tell her you don't want to cook tonight, could she please take care of herself. Insist on her respecting you. The kicker here might be that she supports you. I haven't read your whole blog. If you are dependent on her for your livelihood, then ask yourself it this is the way you want it to be. If it isn't, find a way to support yourself. You probably could use some counseling. Do you think it would help? Marilynne http://womenoverfifty.today.com You sound just like a housewife and mother - except that your partner is like your child.

It’s good for children to learn independence and respect. Your partner needs to learn it too.

First of all, don’t cater to her. Caring is one thing. Catering to is another. Try not to be available exactly when she wants you. Tell her “Just a minute,” or “I’m busy right now, can you come here?” Tell her you don’t want to cook tonight, could she please take care of herself. Insist on her respecting you.

The kicker here might be that she supports you. I haven’t read your whole blog. If you are dependent on her for your livelihood, then ask yourself it this is the way you want it to be. If it isn’t, find a way to support yourself.

You probably could use some counseling. Do you think it would help?

Marilynne
http://womenoverfifty.today.com

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